BUILDING SELF ESTEEM - CARICATURE YOUR LIFE
 

PART 3 - TAKING IT FURTHER

QUESTION.

When asked what you do or your role do you ever answer with ‘just’ in the sentence?

There is no such thing as ‘just’ whether it’s motherhood or a job role. If you think in terms of ‘just’ you have effectively put a ceiling on it. You have removed yourself from the equation of the success of your company, family or team.

We often refer to successful people by what they are worth; their disposable income, property and art portfolios etc. But in one particular way if we were floated on the stock exchange we are all roughly valued the same. If you were to break down the physical properties of a human being you would find that we are made up of …

Sell them and you would be worth about $15!!


When seen in that context we are all worth the same and that’s very little. However, change the perspective again to contribution, energy, effort, fun, openness and our perceived value changes. If you feel you have little worth, change the perspective. I know it’s harder to do than say, but its well worth the discipline.

When you use the word ‘just’ in conversation or ‘self-talk’ you imply little value or worth and you are so much more that a sale item in a store.


Another way to shift your perspective is to ask

Do I work because I HAVE to or WANT to?

It makes a difference to how you see yourself. Of course we all work because we need a salary to pay the bills, but what about where, when and how you work. Is your work tied to someone else’s expectations of you? Do the limitations others have chosen to put on you restrict you? Are these real expectations and limitations or do you think perhaps they are what you perceive?

I have a friend who leads a significant team with a building. Mark has hired a young single mother as a cleaner for both the building and his home. A team member had used some equipment and just left it lying around. Sylvia (name changed) told them very gently where it was normally stored – they retorted with a dismissive comment which finished with ‘you’re only the cleaner’. Incensed by this Mark took action – he gave her a new title – ‘ENVIRONMENT CREATOR’.

This demonstrates a couple of very important principles:
1. You are not what you do. Your career, job title or the how you spend your time does not define WHO you are!!

2. So much of what we think of ourselves is wrapped up in preconceived ideas about what we do. ‘Cleaner’ carries all sorts of connotations, but ‘Environment Creator’, well that’s something different!!

Communication is vital. For most of us, all communication is filtered through our experience and values. We consistently delete and distort information to fit those experiences and values. At any one time our brain has 2,000,000 bits of information to cope with. We are only conscious of between 5 and 9. You were probably not aware of the weight of your foot on the floor until now and in a second that information will move back into your subconscious.

So when you communicate with others and hear what they say, it is highly likely that you are filtering, deleting and distorting the information to fit and reinforce your belief systems.

The same happens with ‘self-talk’. How you converse with yourself reinforces what you think of yourself.


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(c) Copyright 2005. Steve Holloway. All Rights reserved