BUILDING SELF ESTEEM - CARICATURE YOUR LIFE

PART 5 - ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVES

I now want to share a secret to increased happiness – the more you focus on your weaknesses the worse they become.

They key to overcoming a weak area is not concentrating on it; in fact that gives it more power. The more energy, attention and time something has – the more power and influence it has.

If you really want to deal with a weak area of your personal, emotional, working life then do the following.

 - Find it’s positive energy
 - Call it by a different name.
 - Swamp it with positives.

FIND ITS POSITIVE ENERGY

Research shows that marriages which last have a few things in common. In a recent study it was discovered that when asked about the strengths and weaknesses of themselves and then their partners, successful marriage partners (successful meaning happy, content and having lasted a long time) consistently rated their partner higher than the partner rated themselves.

In his book, The One Thing You Need To Know, Marcus Buckingham explains this as a method of fulfilling their fantasy. When choosing a life partner, people have an ideal, almost unreal fantasy of the perfect partner. Subconsciously they refuse to believe their partner is anything less than their fantasy. You have probably seen this work out in couples you know. You see one person seems to be jealous – their partner doesn’t see that – they have a partner who is consumed by their love. You see a partner who is short tempered – but they see passion.

With a little creativity you can find the positive energy to what you currently see as a weakness.


CALL IT BY A DIFFERENT NAME

Now you have a positive focus call it by that name – the tongue does have incredible power – the old saying ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’ is a dangerous load of rubbish. Words have incredible power – often longer lasting than a scratch, bruise or even broken bone. Don’t talk about fighting, struggling against, and working on weak areas. Rather talk of feeding, cultivating, nurturing the opposite.


SWAMP IT WITH POSITIVES

The next step is to cut off the oxygen supply to it. Literally swamp it out with something else. Don’t fight your quick temper – feed and nurture your patience. It produces the same thing; the difference is that fighting is tiring, debilitating and painful, but feeding is productive, delightful, positive and invigorating. How exciting it is to see your patience grow and watch your short-temper wither-away.


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(c) Copyright 2005. Steve Holloway. All Rights reserved